Dear Nice Weather, please stay. Thanks.

Today and yesterday was lovely.

The weather forecast says that it will not, however, stay this way. Why couldn't it be this beautiful for next weekend, Easter? Oh well, as long as it is not raining I will be okay with it. I am excited for the family gathering and the big egg hunt....for Harper that is. Yes, excited for Harper not I. Okay, maybe just a little for me too:)

Good news: Harper is off the bottle! Yay. He's actually been off of it since a week before our anniversary trip but I neglected to share the news. I am very grateful though. I just rock and giggle and play with him in my arms a little then lay him down --awake-- and he talks and plays in his crib then goes down all by himself, no crying! Its so funny listening to him on the monitor. I sure love that little guy:)

I will be flying back to Oklahoma the 21st-3rd. I am excited to see my family and have Harper spend some time with them too, but I am dreading the flying part. It was much easier when he was not mobile and he didn't throw fits to get his way and when all I had to do was pop a boob in his mouth to quiet him. Oh how I miss the instant peace of those times *sigh* How are we going to get through that long flight in such tight quarters? Oy! But I bet it will be much easier because that seems to be the trend with me lately. I get so worried/anxious about doing something beforehand and then it turns out to not be that big of a deal afterall ie. weaning from nursing, and then the whole bottle thing... Ya, those =not so big of deals.

I am hoping that the Oklahoma weather is nice. Have I ever mentioned how much I love the sun? Well I really really do!

So Lance and I just saw the movie Taken on Friday and it was VERY good. But I am a suspense thriller movie kind of gal. My mom said she thought it was upsetting that she even had nightmares the night she saw it. If you are a gentle, sensitive soul like her, maybe you wouldn't like it either. There are some violent scenes. It was just the kind of thrill I needed that day. Very intense movie. I am a huge fan of Liam Neilson sp? We didn't find out that was him till the end though lol. We were denying it the whole movie and then whattayaknow?

I am at the office=no pics. Sorry. But next blog entry. Promise:)

Whidbey Island getaway..

This was my butternut squash raviolli with apples and cranberry in a sage cream sauce. YUM!



Here a couple pics of our banana rum creme brulee w/ plated lemon and rasberry glaze. (you would think the banana rum would be a rich desert but it was so light and delish that we finished the whole thing and we never finish a desert.) It was double good and very pretty. My camera does not do it justice.






Lance and I are major foodies. We love to cook and try new foods with differing combinations of flavors. However, because of the present economic conditions, we have not been able to eat out like we used to, but that has only made us become creative in our own kitchen.We've had some fun with that!

For the weekend we dropped Harper off at the Grandparents for his very first sleepover and Lance and I went up to Whidbey Island off of Seattle, for the night and stayed with Lances uncle Verlane. Verlane owns the building that Gordons on Blueberry Hill, the restaurant is in, so he sent Lance and I there along with his credit card--bless him. This was the second year to come to the eatery for our anniversary. And it did not disappoint!

For our appetizer we ordered the Fire Roasted Portabello mushroom topped with Gorgonzola cheese and a huckleberry glaze drizzled atop. This was our second time ordering this and it was just as good this time around. The salad was a spring salad mix with a buttermilk basil and rosemary dressing. That was okay. The salad was a little too earthy tasting for my liking. I got the butternut squash for my main and Lance got the rack of lamb. A very very tender meat. Both of our first time trying that. And then for desert the Chef Gordon brought out the creme brulee because Verlane had called and told them it was our anniversary so he made his "passion" for us, as he said. We also got to give kudos to him for the yummy food. It was a very nice romantic night which we needed.

Saturday on the drive back home we stopped at the Alderwood mall, ate some lunch at Panda express, and watched the movie " Knowing". It was not that good in my opinion, for many reasons. Then we arrived back at the grandparents by 8pm to pick up our little munchkin that we missed a ton! what a nice reunion.

Here is a pic of my boys that I just have to add in here. Even though this is from a couple weeks ago when we were up on Whidbey Island for Lances aunts funeral.



Sorry for the pics. Im having a hard time making the smaller so you can only see half them.

Well washington can have him back...

(Picture from our dating days in Utah.)

.....were my thoughts when I pulled into my work parking lot that day. Some goofball in an Explorer suv, with a Washington license plate, took "my" spot which made me have to park on the other side of the lot. That day had already gone to the pooper, as I recall. I was a grump. And had neglected to put on anything decent that morning, only to throw on some sweats and somehow managed mascara on the lashes and gloss on the lips just so I didn't look like a complete frump.

Little did I know, I would be meeting my future husband that day. That "goofball" from Washington? Ya, that was him. And in fact, unbenounced to me, he had watched me stumble out of my car from across the way, all the way up to the door of the place I worked. Well I should say we. The place where we worked. He starting that day, apparently.

The company we worked for was called Crysalis Inc. One of the best jobs I've ever had and a great job for a college student. Its what got me interested in Psychology. Crysalis is a non-profit organization that helps those with developmental disabilities work and blend in with their community better. Our title was Residential Advisor.

It wasn't until later that day we officially met. My girls had wanted to go outside to get some air. And he, come to find out later in a confession session, had seen us outside, and hurried his boys out with us as well to meet me.

When I first saw him I thought he was quite a nice site to behold. I even remarked later that evening in my journal, of how I liked his "chiseled features", and thought he could be a "Calvin Klein model" if he wanted. He was tall with shaggy blonde hair( though later he dyed it for fun so we could look like the whitestripes couple? ya, I don't get that either)But at the time I met him, my love life was confusing and frustrating and a relationship I had been in just a week prior had broken off with some feelings left of anger. I actually wrote in an entry a couple days before our meeting, that I was sick of the stupid dating scene, and dumb boys and was ready to meet my eternal companion already. I felt like even though I thought he was a looker, I was not going to get excited about the new guy and left my thoughts at that.

That night when I walked to my car, there was a note on my windshield left by him which I still have to this day. He gave me his number and e-mail( okay, at the time I was like, "e-mail? what the heck, who writes their e-mail?") and he told me he would like to take me out sometime. I was way flattered of course, but I never called the guys, so unless I saw him again, that date wouldn't happen because I wouldn't be the one calling him... or e-mailing him for that matter.

As it turned out, lucky for me, he worked again the next day. We sat outside and and talked pretty much that whole shift. The conversation flowed. In the middle of me talking, he said" do you want to hang out tonight after work?" I said "sure" and then continued on with what I was saying. It was that easy. From that first night we hung out until we married , we were together every second we could be, and I never gave thought to that guy who I was in a relationship with just a week before meeting Lance either.

I dated a lot in Provo. Its pretty easy to do with so many guys up there, but never with any other person did things flow and fall in to place so perfectly, like they did with Lance. I knew I was supposed to marry him from only a short time into the relationship. I knew he was my one. As cliche as that might sound, WOW its so true. Marriage has been such an adventure. I sit here typing with tears streaming down my face because I am so very thankful to my Heavenly Father for guiding me to him, my husband, Lance Lawrence Bowers. I had a high-school boyfriend ( not of my faith) who I was pretty nuts about at the time. But something inside continually nagged at me, never to settle for anything less than a temple marriage, and no matter what, I knew I wouldn't be able to. Ever. I knew I couldn't settle and had enough self-worth to know that I was a deserving daughter of God to receive such a gift.

Lance is my partner. My best friend. We have our moments as any married couple can.... But!! we are in this thing for the ultimate win of celestial glory. Together as team mates.

EditToAdd:
I forgot to mention the reason for this gushy love tale. Its because we became husband and wife 4 yrs ago on this 18th day of March.

Milk mouth...

( This was harper at around 5-6 months)

Mommy's little milk mouth.

----------When Harper was first born, I tried to get him attached to the binky...for some peace, ya know? I tried every kind there was out there. I even did research on them to find the best. Ordered on line and everything. I should have figured out something was wrong when we had to physically hold the binky in his mouth for it to stay, or zip it in a jacket or prop it up. But without doing such tricks it always fell out. I had never heard of this problem happening with other babies, but I just assumed it was because he was so tiny and it would get better as he got a little older. Well, it didn't. I don't know if it had anything to do with his pallet... was it too high? Probably not he nursed awesome. But I gave up on that binky idea. No peace.

---------Of course you could have called me his human binky. That kid LOVED to nurse. From the moment we first tried he was a pro. I assumed I would have such a hard time since everyone else I know, did. My mom tried to nurse all of us kids, but had issues with every one of us, so she had it programed in my brain that so would I. Luckily I didn't and I loved it too. Its not only good for the baby but its cheap, and convenient. I was never embarrassed of doing it in public either, I just had my pretty Bebe cover up and I was good to go. We stopped nursing completely when Harper was 11 1/2 months. I wanted to wean because A.) He had some toofers that could hurt! B.) I wanted to be done by a year anyways and felt I had done a good enough job and C.) Since I had problems with previous pregnancy losses and I wanted to prepare my body before we began trying again for the next which meant I had to start taking certain drugs i.e. baby aspirin, that you can't take while nursing. The last reason was the main reason we stopped.

------------The whole time I nursed Harper we never supplemented with a bottle. Ever. And not because I am opposed to that. In fact, I so wish we had...just to have given me some sort of break. I mentioned earlier how my mom programmed me into thinking nursing would be hard, right? Well, she said that if I were to supplement a bottle early on, it could cause nipple confusion and Harper might choose the bottle over me. She meant well, but I'm fairly certain she was wrong. What happened was because I didn't get him used to the bottle early on, when I attempted the bottle when he got older, he acted like it was some foreign alien thing that he wanted NO part of! He wanted the warm soft boobies.. And as my husband said," can ya blame the guy" Well, I guess not. I tried several times anyhow in hopes he might take to it eventually. No luck.

-----------Every time I laid Harper down to sleep, I nursed and rocked him before hand. Which created a problem because he needed that sucking motion to fall asleep. And he didn't take a binky, suck a thumb, have a lovey he favored yet or do any other self soothing thing. I was his soother.

----------When it came time for the weaning process to begin, I was so nervous because he had rejected bottles as well as any type of formula I had spent some pretty bucks on, in hopes he might likey. I thought the reason he didn't want the bottle was because formula is so strong and icky tasting compared to the sweet light taste of momma milk. But I thought surely there had to be a brand out there that had to come similar in taste. There apparently turned out to be... Similac sensitive brand. I remember I even tasted it first ( okay so I'm weird:) and had a feeling it would be the one. Score! I was right. As it turned out, the weaning process became something that was much more difficult for me * tear* ( I cried for like a whole week after we stopped) than it was for him.

------------But now we have a new problem. And I need some help. Please anyone who has ANY sort of advice about this. I don't care who you are. If any random person even happens onto my page and you read this please help me! ( though by my numbers not many people visit my page yet--boo).

-----------My son is NOW attached to the darn bottle. Mornings, sometimes nap time, and before bed. And he turned 15 months on March 6th.

My worries are A.) the older he gets the harder to break the habit. B.) his teeth and decay...I do not like the thought of that sweet milk residue in his mouth as he sleeps. He's been on fluoride drops as per my bro-in-law since 6 mo and I brush his teeth, but still... and C.) I don't like the attachment he has to it.

----------I blame myself because I got him hooked on it a little too late. I was just desperate for him to be okay after me having took myself away from him and I wanted to make sure he got enough nutrients through out the day since his main source before, had just been mainly me. He had only been eating baby food maybe once a day before 11 mo. I was told that was okay since he was breast feed and he was gaining weight fine. He drinks out of big boy cups now through out the day and eats all table food no more baby food... but when it comes time for a nap or bed time, he still whines for that bottle.

----------Tell me what I need to do.

Do the cry it out thing? blah I hate that! But I'll do what I need to.

-----------Is there any plan that worked for any mother out there who was trying to wean from the bottle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry this was so long. This has just been really frustrating and its SO much easier to just give in to him. But is that the best for him? No. And I realize that.

----------I had spaces all in it but it won't allow for that????? Sorry it looks all run together. blah

Its been awhile...

Update:

---Harper is now 15 months!!! He is saying more and more words everyday. He will attempt at any word you ask him to say too ( 1-2 syllable words of course) Its so awesome though watching his development into a sharp little guy. He is such an active little boy, always wanting to run everywhere. Which makes it difficult when we are at certain places like a family funeral yesterday ( Lances Aunt died) At one point he tried to run onto where the casket was to be lowered ( Yes, a highly stressful situation). He also kept trying to steal every ones balloons( they were to be let go into the sky at the end of the service). And he is now not afraid of throwing some pretty good fits when hes not getting his way in public. I sure as heck have my hands full, but I wouldn't change it all for the world. He is one of the best things to have happened to me in this life. He and is father both.

---Which brings me to my next thing. My Lance. He is doing great. WE are doing great as a couple despite the financial stress we have faced starting this past year. His family owns Bowers Realty which is where I work part-time right now. We all know how the real estate market is doing. We were doing SO good too, dang-it. Which is why we bought our house as well as the rental house...then this whole economy thing happened. So, Lance made the transition into selling insurance for State Farm. That still wasn't bringing in as much income as we needed, so Lance started working for his brother Steve who's a dentist and is doing some construction for him. Thankfully Steve has the means to pay well and we are able to get by with Lance just working for him right now. I am so thankful for his family. They have been such an amazing support for us during these difficult times. Even though there are a lot of marriages falling apart because of the financial stresses so many are facing at this time, this has actually brought Lance and I even closer as husband and wife. I love that man so much. He is such an awesome person, he is so intelligent and can do ANYTHING he wants, he's a worthy preiesthood holder and is so faithful and knowledgeable in the gospel. He makes me laugh even when I "want" to be mad haha, he can break down my walls with just one look. Our love for eachother is firece and I am so thankful for it. I look forward to growing old with him and serving missions together one day.

--- On to the next rant. We have realized that we do NOT want much more of this bitter financial stress we've tasted in recent days. We know that we want the financial freedom to be able to focus on those things that are more important in life such as: serving the church, being able to go on those missions one day as a couple, raise our family free of those kinds of worries, and serving the community etc. We know that is what we are supposed to do. So we prayed and prayed on what was the best route for our family in attaining those goals, and we came to the conclusion on going back into school. Both of us. I don't have much more to go before I am done. We will be moving back to utah to attend UVU. We applied to BYU-Provo but unfortunatly its even more competitive to get into now due to others having the same ideas as us because of the ecomomy. Oh well, if UVU doesn't work out like we hope, there is always BYU-Idaho... Lance isn't sure of what exactly he will do. Maybe Dental ( there are 2 dentists in the family) or something in the medical field( there are 2 doctors in the fam as well) or maybe something else entirely. Who knows,the oppertunities are endless right now! But whatever he chooses to go into he will be amazing at it! He's so smart and I have so much faith in him! Right when we came to the decision of going back to school, we knew it was the right one and it has been a relief and a weight off our shoulders ever since. So before fall comes around--Provo, here we come!

Right now we are just really busy with Harper, our jobs, church and family fun activities with Lance's family. We are always doing something with them it seems. Charter fishing for crab or Halibut, fishing in the hoods canal for shrimp or salmon, skiing, horseback riding, playing settlers of catan ( LOVE that game!) or any other board game and laughing like crazy, always. I love them so much! I got so lucky with them for sure! End of June into July we are heading to Hawaii with the entire family. That's 25 neices and nephews and all the adults! Its going to be so much fun and we are very excited for it. It will be just what we need to start off the fall semester.

I will definatly try better to get on here more... and hopefully gain some readers too! This hasn't been much of a page to behold. I still have yet to figure this whole blog website out like how to add people to your page. If anyone can help me with that, that would be awesome!

Home sick....

This was taken on the Boston trip. My dad and Harper on Revere Beach.

( pic added in after the post)

um so this is how it goes here. I never realized just how hard it would be to marry someone from across the country. It has been hard......especially lately. And I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I now have a son to raise, which makes me reflect upon my own childhood. I had a good one. My parents divorced when I was 12, so that's not really "ideal" per se, but I was a lucky girl for the parents I had and the way they raised me. I miss them. I miss my mom and dad.

Lance, Harper and I are heading back to Boston, Ma. where I was born to meet up with my dad, brothers, step mom and sister as well as all the other Harper clan. My son, for those who do not know, was given my maiden name, which is, Harper. This trip couldn't have come at a better time. Lance has never been to Boston and I am excited to show him all places that was my childhood. I look forward to swimming in grammys gigantic pool ( where Lance and I are staying), grilling fish on the patio, eating fresh produce from her garden, waking up and bike riding to my old house down the road and all over Lynfield for that matter ( I hope every ones excited to watch Harper for us!) I can't wait for the time we'll spend at the "Harper" cabin in New Hampshire, and the "Butler" ( my cousins) cabin down the road where we will water ski, wake board and BBQ. I'm excited to go to Sharon Vermont to the Prophets birthplace, to hike lots of trails there and find orange and red salamanders that I've been telling Lance all about . Those poor things, we used to pull their tails off because we were told they grew back.There used to be this shake stand there in Sharon, that had these "monster shakes" and we were always excited to get one and share...I wonder if that's still there. On July 4th we are going to my uncle Eric's beach house in Kennebunk Maine where we will play on the beach, eat good food, spend time with all the uncles, aunts and cousins and later watch fireworks. We have box seat tickets to a RedSox game on July 7th, that the aforementioned uncle brokers out, and bless him, he gave us 6! And of course we will take a few days to go into the city so Lance can experience all the history that is Boston. I'm sure I'll walk the "freedom trail" That I've walked a billion other times. We will go to the Museum of Science, Museum of Fine Arts and eat at Faneuil Hall also known as the Quincy Market. We'll eat Kelly's seafood and walk Revere beach, play in the tidal pools in Nahaunt where my daddy grew up, walk around Waldon Pond where author Henry David Thoreau lived for a time. I feel like this is going to be like one of those family trips, like the one I took to Jamaica after high school, where the whole trip was beyond amazing but what would have made it even more perfect, would have been sharing all that with my true love.... And I get to do that!!! He gets to experience the family that helped create the crazy goofy fun-loving, New England delicious sub-eating, you guys have no idea ( subway/quiznos sucks) girl that I am.....My mouth is watering now. Maybe I should go eat some lunch.

So, apparently this is gonna be a long one....

I thought I'd give this whole blog world a go. Why not, I mean its not like I have a billion other things I could be doing wink wink. I'll give you fair warning though, I am not the best writer. And I have a habit of going off on tangents, so if I do that, please forgive me.

I am at the office today. I work here a couple of times a week and fill in for the main secretary. I also bring the baby with me which is becoming more of a challenge as he gets older and thus more active. I am sure I could ask my MIL to watch him, but there are like 24 other grandchildren that she babysits often, and I guess I just don't want to bug her. Even though I know she loves Harper, and would love doing it. After all, he looks a lot like his daddy, her baby.And I am thankful I get to bring him with me here. Not many mommies get to do this. Lance actually just came and picked him up on his way home to give me a couple hours here at that office without him. I have to admit, and I sort of feel silly about it, but the kid's only been gone a few minutes and I already miss him. I have not been without him at all, yet. The Relief Society President keeps bugging us to take him so we can have a date night, ( she wants another one) and we even went so far as to schedule a date, but I couldn't do it. Not yet! I of course lied and said something else came up. I feel bad. I'm almost ready though, I can feel it haha.

Which brings me to my next rant. I love being a mommy. It's quite possibly the most amazing thing I have ever done. I always had that feeling that motherhood would be special and it was always something I knew I wanted to do, but I had no idea just how cool it was till Lance put Harper in my arms. We had dealt with 3 miscarriages before the success of Harper, so you can imagine the worry we experiened throughout my pregnancy with him. I couldn't relax it seemed. There was always a new worry. I thought for sure those worries would be completly gone once he got here. But NOPE, they've only just begun. Silly me.

I have never written out my delivery story, and I always love to read other peoples child birthing experiences, so here I go: From the beginning...My mother flew into Washington from Oklahoma, 3 days before Harper was to come. I was so excited for her to get here. On my way to the airport my MIL called me and said to hurry back home after I picked my mom up, because there was supposed to be flooding. We'd never had this happen before and I didn't realize just how bad the situation was. My mom and I made it home, right before I-5 was to be shut down due to the water level rising above it! Had we been gone 30 minutes longer, we wouldn't have been able to get to our house. That night, helicopters shook our house every 15 mins or so, flying over head. Apparently, they were rescuing people from their homes and taking them to the local high school where they made shelter. Our area was one of the hardest hit, with many homes destroyed and flooded, and everything lost. Luckily, we took the flood zone into account when purchasing a home, and bought one on a hill. Yay for my husband! I was dang glad for that when all of this happened!! Jeez.

The whole flood situation was scary to us especially since I had preterm labor since I was 23 wks. I was switched from modified bed rest to full on bed rest and back again quite a few times. Starting at 29 wks, I had to go into the hospital 2x per week for NS T's ( non-stress tests) to monitor how the baby responded to all my contractions. I was also on a terrible terrible drug known as Terbutyline , a tocolytic, which was supposed to make contractions less, but in-turn made the child inside of me, move like a crack baby. I hated the stuff!! Luckily, I was allowed to stop the drugs at 36 wks. This pregnancy was not an easy one. My body's not a fan of the whole make and keep a baby safe process. By 40 wks, I was pretty used to the over 8 contractions an hour I was getting, and at my 39 wk check-up, I still hadn't dilated hardly at all. My uterus was just an irritable one.... They even thought I may have a uterine anomaly which would explain for the baby being breech, the multiple m/c, and all the pre-term labor I had. Turns out, after investigating my uterus after Harper came out, that's not the case. So, who knows what my body's deal is.

Out of the many complications I experienced during pregnancy, one frustrating one was the babe being in the frank breech position. US after US showed he stayed that way, too. Butt in pelvis with legs over head. Ouch! Poor baby. That meant that we had to do a c-section which I was not excited about. I tried everything to get that kid to flip so as to avoid that kind of surgery. I spent an hour at least everyday, usually during Oprah, on the carpet doing the "special flip" exercises. Didn't work though, and I was not going to do the whole Version attempt, where 2 doctors manually try to move the baby head down. There are too many risks involved with that procedure. Wasn't worth it to me. And there wasn't even a high percentage that it would work.

Dec. 4th was his EDD. I opted to wait the full 40 wks in case he decided to flip last minute. Our c-section was for 7 am on that day. The hospital called and said that since neither my doctor nor I could get to the hospital because of the flooding, they would do it for the 5th or 6th. The 5th came, the highway was still flooded. They said the 6th should be the day. I was so beyond ready at that point. We put our bags, pillows, snacks etc. by the door- in anticipation for the following day. My mom even painted my toenails and fingernails bright red for me. I was primped and pampered... ready to go!

I couldn't sleep that night, I was so scared and anxious to meet him already. I had a sinking feeling that for some reason, they would tell me to wait yet another day. They had told me the day before, to call that Dec 6th morning early, just to make sure it was a "yes" for sure. I got up, got ready, and called. The rooms were full they said, and there was an emergency c-section that took priority over mine, there was nothing they could do about it. I hung up and just sobbed there on the floor of my bedroom. My mom and husband were in the living room waiting for the verdict. I needed a few minutes to myself though. I couldn't believe after all I'd been through, this was happening. I thought, if only I opted to have him out the week earlier like they suggested....

Lance and I got back in bed since it WAS super early, and we weren't having him that day. I just laid there in bed and prayed... crying, as Lance held me. ---------We hear my cell phone ring!-------- We were only in bed for 20 mins. Lance had fallen back asleep. I had a feeling it was good news. It was the nurse saying my doctor wanted me to come in and see if Harper was still in the breech position. She said if he WAS, I'd get to have him that day, but if he wasn't, well they weren't inducing and I'd have to wait again! I had never before that day prayed so hard that he was, in fact, still breech. I knew he was though. I just knew it!! I screamed for joy so loud!!!! It was my day!

Now, if you thought this was a long enough birth story, I hate to say it gets longer. My doctor does the US, and like I thought, the babe was still breech. I change into the beautiful hospital gown and Lance puts on his scrubs. He's so excited to get to watch the surgery. The RN has her student nurse attempt the IV and of course she doesn't get it in. Luckily, she only got one shot. Then when the RN does it. she gets it in and pop! The IV comes out and I squirt blood everywhere! The look on there face told me that was NOT good. I was considered a "bleeder"... ya, whatever. It was the student nurse who made this happen. jk. I liked that girl (I had quite the nice...I mean, drugged conversation with her in recovery lol she was trying to convince me to choose her mom as Harpers new Ped). The anesthesiologist came in to chat with us. Basically, he ordered another test that officially labeled me a "bleeder". He told me he could not do a spinal on me because of the risk of a Spinal Hematoma. They had to do a General, and knock me out. Also, sadly, Lance wasn't allowed to come in OR anymore, because of the chance that complications might arrise. It was then I was considered an emergency c-section. The poor guy was so bummed. So was I, for him, but I honestly just wanted to meet Harper, I didn't really care how he got to me any longer, just as long as he was safe.

Apparently, my boy came out screaming so loud, Lance knew immediately when they pulled him out of me. He scored 9/9 on the APGARS which was good for a c-section baby. They wheeled Harper out to meet Lance 15 mins later. He was able to be with him from that moment on to hold, bathe and feed. The kid came out starving Lance said, so since I was in recovery they had to give him 2 ounces of formula from a little cup in order for him to stop crying. I met him almost 4 hrs later after I was considered okay. Man! I was so drugged. I guess, that day I talked to all my friends and family on the phone and I don't remember ONE conversation. Not one!

When I think back to that day, I so wish I could re-live that moment of finally meeting Harper over and over. I can see through pictures, but its just not the same. Lance was so caught up in it all, he forgot to film us. It was the most amazing---words cannot describe how amazing it was! My mom said when I was wheeled in the room, I was looking everywhere, my eyes darting every which way, trying to see where Harper was. Lance had him. I cried and cried and cried when he handed him to me. I felt such an overwhelming flow of love and emotion come through me. He was a pro nurser right from the beginning. He quieted right away too. He knew my voice.

My love grows even stronger for this little 'chunky monkey' every day. After such a long hard road of dealing with 3 miscarriages and then a rough pregnancy as well as labor... to finally have this perfect being in my life, is a miracle and blessing. And that is FINALLY the end! I promise that the rest of my blogs won't be this long